The things you learn Part 2: Cultural differences and Barcelona

As anyone will tell you, living with someone can be hard. For a variety of reasons spawning from cleanliness to taste in music, with some people it's less hard, and with others it can be more so. However, truly living with someone (not just as a guest for a few nights on their couch) from another culture is entirely different experience. Each day is a learning opportunity, and both parties must be patient and see it this way for things to progress smoothly. Because aside from the difficulties that can arise from living with someone with different tastes or habits than your own, culture has its own peculiarities. Now culture doesn't just mean surface items such as language, food, dress, and entertainment. Yes these are but mere surface items on the large list that attempts to answer the question, what is culture. When you dive deeper, you discover that culture can affect everything from how one receives a guest, to how they act in public, to how they view authority, to what they consider respectful and polite behaviour. With this in mind, it is easy to see that problems with cultural differences arise not from the first category, but the second. Yet often it is this second category that is completely overlooked or disrespectfully deemed 'wrong' or 'weird'.

Now consider this: not only am I living in Germany, a foreign country which I have only briefly visited a few times and don't speak the language, but I'm living with a Russian. So given that major double whammy, there was a steep learning curve and disagreements or issues were bound to arise. Thankfully though, Julija and I are both not people to quietly hold something inside to fester, but are rather the type to voice an issue or subject, regardless the nature. Because of this, the night I returned from Munich to Hannover, thanks to a bottle of wine, we ventured in to a very long but highly interesting discussion. The conclusion of which was very enlightening for both of us. The nature? Respect. Also, before I attempt to dive in to this cultural conversation, let me remind you of how incredibly difficult it is to discuss an issue as sensitive as culture and stereotypes without offending someone or sounding inconsiderate or racist. So if someone is offended by the following paragraph, or feels that it is an incomplete description, I meant no offense. I just don't want to waste 7 paragraphs making it explicit or have to do research just to write an entry.

Something as seemingly obvious as how we perceive respect from someone else can vary so much culture to culture. In the Canadian Prairies, respect tends to take the form of small gestures and tokens. Such as, bringing someone flowers when they're down, showing up on time to appointments and events, stopping to pick them up coffee before you meet, baking their favourite dessert for when they come over, or going to pick them up from somewhere when they need it. These small gestures show that we care for someone, or respect them. For Russians however, this is vastly different. For them, for example, one of the biggest signs of respect is having a clean house. It shows that you care enough for someone to make your home as presentable as possible. If you didn't clean it, this would be a sign of disrespect or that you didn't care for that person. Conversely, dirtying it, such as walking inside with your shoes, or leaving things out could also be a sign of disrespect. So something very simple and insignificant to a Canadian, such as accidentally leaving dishes in the sink, can be quite insulting for a Russian. On the other hand, something of great respect for a Russian, such as having a very clean house, to a Canadian can sometimes be seen as unsettling, that is giving us this feeling of out of place, or feeling that we clearly aren't as close of friends as previously thought. Another important sign of respect for Russians is social or public respect which takes the form of helping a women with her heavy suitcase, giving your seat on the metro to a senior, or paying for the meal. Sure Canadians do this as well, but for us it's more a common curtesy. If we don't give up our seat or pay the bill it's not a big deal. Just as for Russians, if they don't show up precisely on time, it's not the end of the world. But for many Canadians and Americans, punctuality is the essence of respect, just as for Russians men paying for the meal has a great deal more importance.

Ten Things Never to Say or Do in Russia

For every culture in fact, how we perceive the feeling of welcome, respect, friendship, politeness, and social responsibility can be extremely different. For the Thai for example, pointing to something with your feet is a sign of great disrespect, as the feet are seen to be very dirty. Or in many Asian cultures, looking someone in the eye, or too long of eye contact can be a sign of great disrespect. This all translates to very different interactions with different cultures and people. For example, while a first meeting with your average German can be pleasant and illuminating, a first meeting with your average Italian will mostly likely be fun and boisterous. Or a first meeting with your average Canadian will undoubtedly be friendly and informative, while a first meeting with your average Russian will be polite, exciting and a perhaps a little intimidating. This is not to stereotype or disrespect these cultures however, obviously people are individuals and it is impossible to 'accurately' stereotype an entire nation of people. This is just skimming the surface of a very deep well of cultural and personal characteristics and perceptions. However this little fact alone, that there is much more to every individual than just the surface descriptions and cultural stereotype is definitely worth remembering, as some people, indeed many people seem to skip through life under this impression.

To sums things up, it has been a very informative and reflective past couple weeks. The meeting of a fabulous French-speaking Italian woman (who also teaches languages! albeit Italian) a little while ago just adding to the excitement. Fun fact, the Italians are somewhat outraged and perplexed regarding Hawaiian pizzas. The idea of pineapple on a pizza is almost insulting. On the other hand, they cannot believe that others do not put potatoes on their pizzas. Tonight however, marks my last night in Germany. I apparently also have a 'Farewell' soirée tonight thanks to Julija and Ljuby. And tomorrow starts my 3 day journey to the next cultural chapter of my life, Barcelona and the CELTA course. I leave tomorrow for Brussels via Amsterdam, will spend a few days there (orthodontist appointment and whatnot), and head to Barcelona on Friday. What do I know about this next step? Not too much actually. I been concentrating so much on the course itself that I have yet to 'refresh' my Spanish or check out any of the information I have downloaded on Barcelona. I do know however, who the school has set me up to live with the month of March.

Yes, this is the cover and an article from an issue of Spanish Vogue circa 1990. And yes, featured is renown Spanish artist (and professor) Maria Roca, who's work and research in the field of hand dyeing and weaving of textiles (among many, many other things) has led her to own exclusive designs for fashion designers including Adolfo Dominguez, Iciar de la Concha, Miquel Ibars, Joaquim Verdú, Yanko, Loewe, and Giorgio Armani. Yes, this is who I will be living with! From what I gather, she doesn't really speak much English, but as she studied at École des Beaux-Arts in Paris, she speaks French! Problem avoided. Either way though, it is an excellent occasion to force me to improve my Spanish skills. Ah the adventure begins Friday.



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I would just like to add that this blog represents my personal views and my perspective alone. While this may seem self-evident, apparently it is worth clarifying. It is something of a private journal for me that happens to be public in order to keep friends, family, and others updated on what's going on. So in the end, if you don't like it, don't please read it. Thanks :)