Life is a Journey: What I've learned from the last 22 months

These last couple days have been rough for me. October 17th is when my father passed away in a car/train accident 11 years ago at the age of 40, and October 2nd is when Gooner passed away 2 years ago in a car accident at the age of 33. And October 3rd is my birthday. It’s a lot to process in the span of a couple weeks.

After nothing short of a meltdown the morning of October 17th feeling my life was slipping away from me, I decided to take a couple days off from reading, researching, writing, and ‘constructive’ thinking in general, and just try to relax. That day we rented a scooter and spent the day driving around the island and sitting on the beach. The next day I spent reading a novel and in the evening drinking wine and eating brie. The following was spent watching Friends, and the next Stumbling through the Internet.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am for those 4 days. I feel a renewed grip on reality and my life, and a renewed sense of appreciation for the present moment and how I got here.


Early January of 2012 I left my hometown. I didn’t know where I wanted to be, but I knew it wasn’t there.

A couple of months before this in October, Gooner had died, and I had come back from Switzerland feeling lost, having left my career path in top-level international relations, realizing that that world was not where I belonged.

As of a conversation in a bar in small town Saskatchewan January of 2012, I decided upon a rough plan of departure and resolved to go find what I wanted, where I belonged, whatever and wherever it was.

Since that moment, 22 months have passed and I have journeyed through 4 provinces, 11 countries, 3 continents and 2 islands.

I have briefly dated a hippie, a chef, and a model, before falling in love with an eccentric French Canadian hippie-at-heart. 

I have lived in 17 different apartments, houses and rooms with anywhere from 1 to 7 roommates.

I have slept on ikea foam couches, futons, pillows, cushions, ½ cm thick foamies, hammocks, air mattresses, floors, tiny mattress, plush ones, hard ones, really cold ones, and really hot ones.

I’ve been serenaded by a Uruguayan Johnny Cash in a public plaza.

I met Molly in an afterhours club in Barcelona.

I’ve held a conversation with a group of German men in a Beer House in Munich.

I’ve shared rides with perfect strangers in countries where I didn’t speak the language, and had wonderful conversations.

I’ve had life changing spiritual guidance from a Catalonian artist.

I’ve gotten my braces removed.

I’ve been swindled by Peruvians living on floating islands at an altitude of 3800m.

I have climbed and ridden a mule up to 3400m in one of the most beautiful valleys and canyons in the world.

I’ve been ill in an electricity-less tropical oasis in the deepest canyon in the world.

I have waded barefoot in tidal pools in the Pacific Ocean looking for sea treasures with Ecuadorian children.

I’ve had to negotiate my way in and out of an Ecuadorian emergency room.

I have eaten fresh seafood by the shores of the Caribbean.

I’ve gotten robbed in the tropical rainforest of Costa Rica.

I have witnessed a woman chasing her passport thief down the road as he threw bottles at her to dissuade her pursuit in the capitol of Colombia.

I have ridden 3 people to a small moto driven by a man we had just met, and had the most wonderful day.

I have manoeuvred a scooter through Mexican traffic.

I have taught English in traditional classrooms, jungle open-air classrooms, cafés, bars, and huts on the beach to poor children, spoiled children, rich children, young wealthy adults, poor adults who could barely afford to miss work long enough to come to lessons, really appreciative, kind and eager adults, and adults who could care less about the English language.

I have been too sick to function and have witnessed someone puking out of a 2nd story window.

I have been proposed to at a beach town in Nicaragua at the most pedantically beautifully decorated outdoor restaurant.

I have braved snakes, moose, bear, cockroaches, flying horned bugs, rats, lizards and monkeys.

I have been part of an unsuspecting group dropped off in an unknown location in the Amazon with no map and no directions 2 hours before sunset.

I have spent afternoons lazing on the beach playing beach volleyball drinking fresh fruit smoothies.

I have surprised Ecuadorian children with what I think were their first homemade cookies.

I have played cards during a thunderstorm in the rainforest on the beach.

I have been squished with far too many people in far too little of a car.

I have gone an unexpected 3 days without electricity or running water in rural Nicaragua.

I have spent 4 days 13kms by foot away from all civilization in to the Canadian wilderness.

And I have met many magnificent people in both conventional and unusual places who have changed my life in some way.


Through all of this, 22 months and 3 continents later, I have survived. Floating from one place to the next serendipitously, I learned that it’s not a ‘something’ that I am looking for, or a goal of some kind to be attained, but that it’s rather the journey that matters and the people who touch your life along the way.

In the end, I did find what I was looking for, but only when I learned to stop looking. I am not farther ahead in my career than I was 22 months ago. Nor am I richer, have more things, have a set path, or have more security. But I am happier. I am more relaxed, more appreciative, more balanced, healthier, wiser, more connected to and more grateful for the world around me.

I guess the old saying is true, that you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. You can read as many words of wisdom as you’d like about appreciating the journey, living in the moment, etc., but in the end, for it to be true, you must find it and learn it for yourself. 

What a month it has been...

1 month. It has been exactly one month since we first woke up in Cozumel, September 16th in Hostelito downtown. It's gone by so quickly.

One the one hand, I feel like we haven't done too much since arriving here. When we skype with people I feel like there's usually not much new. We do a lot of reading. But when I think about this past month...Well, I guess I'm wrong.

Not mentioning all the fabulous progress I have made regarding my readings, my application, my thesis, my ideas and methodology in general, and my plans in the PhD and career department, nor the wonderful plans and ideas Cena and I have made, since we arrived in Cozumel we have :

• Met with the realtor and landlord, signed the contract, and moved in to our apartment. 
• Ventured all over San Miguel (the city on the island) to find various discount things for our apartment including bed sheets, pillows, cleaning supplies, air fresheners, soap, etc. and got our exercise carrying them back. (We may have caved and gotten a taxi once or twice). 
• Found and carried back all the food staples including spices, corn flour, olive oil, eggs, etc. that we can't get at the market. 
• Cleaned our musty and dusty man-lived apartment top to bottom. 
• Walked across the city to Cablemas to successfully get through the confusion and get our internet hooked up, all in Spanish. 
• Tried out all kinds of restaurants, Mexican cuisine, and taco shops.
• Surprised Cena with a private Mexican cooking class in the home of a Mexican former French teacher.
• Braved the local market to start our shopping there. 
• Walked 5km (each direction) in the swealtering sun then in the pouring rain to try and find the outdoor mall and market to buy running shoes. 
• Explored our first Beach Club, Playa Azul and had a delightful Sunday afternoon lazing under a palm hut drinking lemonades by the turquoise blue sea. Occasionally broken up by some snorkelling and swimming. 
• Got ashiatsu massages by an expat of 11 years. 
• Got gym memberships to the fabulously air-conditioned gym down the street, as between 11am and 3-4pm it's too hot to do anything outside, let alone anything active.
• Started a strict cleanse and have been following it with minor exceptions until present day.
• Rented an old VW Beetle and toured and explored the island and beach bars all day. 
• Solved the crisis of Cablemas disconnecting our internet claiming we hadn't paid the bill, again all in Spanish
• Explored many different cafés, trying to find the perfect one where it's not too hot, not too much A/C, and that have tea actually worth the 2$ price tag.
• Spent an afternoon seeing the Museum of Cozumel, and since we're nerds it did take an entire afternoon.
• Cooked almost every meal at home from scratch for the last 3 1/2 weeks.  
• Braved the local Cozumel chiropractor and discovered (to Cena's relief) that he is American trained, and for locals payment is by donation.
• Started a morning routine involving 6am, meditation, journaling, and no communication devices (FB, email, news, etc.) for the first couple hours. 

Like I said, quite the list of adventures considering that is not including the at home work and reading! And still so much more to do, see, and explore on the island. New mission for this week: Find t-shirts or tank tops that aren't too touristy (neon and have Cozumel written on them in big letters) or too latina (skin tight with leopard print).

Plus I believe we will have a steady stream of visitors until we leave for Vancouver Island March 12th, the day our visa expires. 

Will being the first, staying for a week arriving November 16th. Jasmin, forever TBD of course, but mentioned a week beginning of December. Jasper mentioned possibly a week over Christmas. Garry and Diane are planning a week or two in January. Meaghan (and Saul?) mentioned a week in February. And then we leave! 

Time will absolutely fly by. One of the many reasons we are really working on living in the moment. Taking this time to re-balance and re-centre everything, after close to 2 years of travelling country hopping chaos for me, and 1,5 for Cena, and create some good healthy habits before moving back to Canada for a few years. Yes, I actually said moving, not just visiting. But to another island of course, so the transition won't be so bad ;)

My Cozumel Birthday(s) Part 2

The morning of October 4th was bright and sunny. I woke up to find Cena out of bed again, but unlike the previous morning where breakfast was all laid out and she was peacefully working on her computer, this morning she was busy running around, collecting items for a pile on the table. Clearly the birthday plan was in full swing today.

As I sat down, she was in the process of making a bowl of oatmeal for me. She had no sooner put the bowl down on the table than announced that she had a last minute birthday related errand to run, and that we could leave as soon as she got back. With that she grabbed the purse and dashed out the door.

When she came back, she said everything is good. According to plan. For her sake, I hoped so. She had been sneaking around planning at this for weeks now. But planning and Latin America don't exactly go hand in hand.

So she had a quick banana, finished packing up the 2 backpacks of things, and said we were ready to go. So I followed.

Eagerly wondering where we were going, I was scouring for hints. Were we walking left or right? Both hinted at different plans. But we were each carrying a backpack and her a 4L bottle of water, so we couldn't be going terribly far in the heat. We left the parking lot and turned right. Hmm.. However no more than 10 feet around the corner from our parking lot, I see this. And I see Cena smile and start walking towards it. Oh my, what had she done...

She had rented an old, nay ancient bright orange convertible bug for us to drive around and explore the island with! And had researched more than a days worth of possible stops all along the way, depending on our/my mood. Hence the two backpacks worth of stuff. Everything from swimsuits to snorkel gear to snacks to raincoats was thought of and brought with.

So with that we threw our stuff in the back and took off out of town, dodging crazy latino motorists to get to the highway to start our day, with everything we could possibly need. Except of course for the map of the island and cash, which in her excitement Cena had forgot to print off and withdraw. But really all that meant was a little bit more exploring, and a little bit more adventure to the day. Even more so when we got to the 'wild' east side of the island where there is no electricity to speak of, therefore no atms and no credit card accepted.

But for now we were still driving the highway, as our surroundings were getting progressively more and more green. Until we hit a point where there was no more civilization, just jungle and highway. And of course the occasional hotel and beach bar. Our first stop was the infamous Mr. Sanchos which we had heard so much about.

In two words, tourist paradise. Mr. Sanchos has everything from its own little souvenir marketplace, to a tequila factory, to a swim up pool bar, to an ocean waterpark complete with trampoline and climbing structure, to massage huts, to beach loungers to hammocks, to all-inclusive drink and food day packages. It was beautiful. But also crowded. Just not what we were in the mood for just yet, so we walked back to the parking lot to our bug to hit the road again. However, not before taking another 5 minutes to fiddle with the bike lock keeping the hood/trunk locked with our stuff in it.

We kept driving the single lane and only highway down the island and decided that we would rather spend the day exploring the island in general and different beach bars and huts rather than individual ruins and national parks for now.

The drive was so beautiful. So wonderful. In this ancient steel car that was so simple it didn't even have a radio or buttons, or a dash or vents to speak of, just a simple speedometer, gas gage and hazard lights. But who needs vents when you're in a convertible, driving on a coastal highway on a caribbean island?

Before we knew it we had left the west side, crossed the south filled with natural reserves and parks, and had stumbled on to the 'wild' east side. The first place we see is one we had been wanting to check out since we first arrived on the island, this reggae beach bar called rastas.

Incredible views, incredible food, and obviously incredibly friendly laid back atmosphere and servers who walked around the place barefooted and lazed in a hammock when they weren't serving. 

After this we continued driving up the coast, marvelling at the turquoise waters, occasionally stopping at random beach huts just to take in the views. 

Our next real stop was at this bar Cena had researched ahead of time called Coconuts. We nearly missed it had it not been for this inconspicuous sign and a few cars parked along side the highway. The cars were parked next to this hand painted sign that read 'Entrance' and led to this stone stairway trail up a hill through the jungle.

We followed the trail and passed some signs that indicated that we were definitely on the right path. We finally arrived at this circular beach hut bar perched on a hill almost hidden by trees. Blasting rock music with remarkable views of the sea, I thought it was definitely time to cheat the cleanse and have a birthday drink here. Only, as Cena had forgotten to take cash out, and we were on the east side with no electricity, we scrounged our purse and found we had just over 50 pesos on us leftover from lunch, or about 2$. Just enough for one large margarita. The only problem, was the server was so friendly that we end up chatting with him, Martin was his name, and telling him that this day was my birthday celebration. And since we only had money for one margarita, he felt he should make it worth our while.

At the table arrived this enormous margarita. It looked like it could fit most of a bottle of booze, and tasted like it had a least half a bottle of tequila in it. Fantastic as this was, Cena was driving, and at this point we had both been on a liver cleanse for 2 weeks and hadn't had a drop to drink in that time frame. So after managing to bring the contents of this margarita bowl down about an inch, we already felt a little happier. We asked Martin for more ice and lime in hopes of toning it down a bit. Successful, yes. But it was still no match for the mickey of tequila.

After a while, we wanted to move on go to another place to swim. So I nonchalantly took the cup under the table and poured the remaining half in to Cena's nalgene bottle to take with us. We thanked Martin, and despite his pleas for us to stay, even going so far as to offer drinks on him, we promised him we would be back another time, when we didn't have more island to explore. 

After Coconuts we kept driving around the island, taking everything in, and decided to continue and loop back through town to stop back at our apartment to have some snacks and take money out. Then we continued back on our original highway and headed to Mr. Sanchos to get in an hour of so of swimming before it closed. Because you see, most beach bars close at 5 or 5:30pm. This has a double function of sending boozy customers off to nice restaurants for supper, and preserving energy. As once night falls, there is no more energy to be had and only the bars or hotels who could afford to run their own electricity cables could stay open. Cena however had done research ahead of time and had found this Ecuador-like beach cabana reputed for its fresh delicious seafood, that stayed open after dark, Alberto's. 

Alberto's was perfect. Just like Ecuador it was comprised of various beach huts nestled in the trees, a bar/kitchen, beach volleyball court, dance floor, sound system, tiki torches, and tables. That's it. Oh, the one thing it had that Ecuador didn't was a massage lady. We arrived there just an hour before sunset with plenty of time to take everything in, listen to their wonderful mix of latino, classic rock, and current tracks, an order delicious seafood.

After a grilled Maji Maji in a lime garlic sauce (the island favourite) for me, and fish tacos for Cena (surprise surprise), we stayed a while longer to enjoy the atmosphere, chat with our new server friend Jorge and promise him that we would indeed go salsa dancing with him at Tikitok in town another night, and to watch the sunset.

This was the flawless image engraved in my mind just before we left Alberto's and put a magical birthday day to rest, fearing that our trusty car didn't have great headlights for night driving (a fear that proved justified). Taken with a 120$ digital camera with absolutely no editing.

My Cozumel Birthday(s) Part 1

This may come as a shock to some of you, but Cena is a little bit competitive. I know. Let me give you a moment to catch your breath.

...

Because I gave her a 'birthday month' this year, threw her a party at our place in Costa Rica, and then had her actual birthday on the beach in Nicaragua, she felt the need to at least match that for my birthday this year, if not top it. Then when I surprised her with private Mexican cooking classes a couple weeks ago, it was on. 

So it all started exactly a week before my birthday, I was to get the first surprise. As I did with her, she led me out of the house saying we were going somewhere but not telling me where. We walked oddly close to where I took her, when we stopped in front of this adorable run-down looking courtyard with little cabin/bachelor apartments all around. Cena walked up to a particular one, and a very swami looking middle-aged woman invited us in. We were getting massages. And not just any massage, an Ashiatsu barefoot massage. 

It was wonderful. I walked back to the apartment feeling like I was walking on clouds in dreamland. 

Have I also mentioned that she was completely determined to keep everything a surprise? Because of everyone jabbing at her that she can't keep secrets, she was dead set on having me be in the dark for everything. So for the week preceding my birthday days, she would be doing secret research on the computer, wander off for a couple hours at a time on secret errands, would have secret phone calls and mysterious emails. So as much as I loved the idea of the surprise, I was looking forward to ending the sneaking around and moratorium on questions because she didn't want to give anything away. 

So the next of the surprises was the evening before my birthday on the 2nd. We left the house at 6pm and started walking North, which we've only gone once before. I figured we were going out for supper, but clearly not at your average tourist restaurant as we were walking farther away from everything. 

At 6:30pm exactly we reach this enormous gated property with a lush garden and 19th century style lighting through the walkway to this large colonial era house, Casa mission. The first thing I noticed was the overwhelming amount of crosses on the wall. I kid you not, there had to have been at least 200 crosses.

I put 2 and 2 together and realized it was an old religious house for the priests and nuns coming over doing mission work in Mexico, converted in to a restaurant. Culture and supper, all in one stop. Not to mention the band that was playing an interesting set of traditional and modern instruments. One was like a cross between a stool and an xylophone. 

When we got back home, we watched a couple short episodes of TV in the living room, and Cena wanted to watch another one in bed. I protested but finally gave in. She led me to the bedroom and I opened the door to find the entire room illuminated by candlelight and three different scented massage oils on the nightstand, because she "didn't know which one I would like best". 

After a glorious massage, she confirmed to me that her plan for tomorrow (the 3rd) was going on rain or shine, so to be prepared...

Well when I woke up the morning of the 3rd, Cena was not there. Thinking she had decided to let me sleep in instead of up at 7:30am for her plan, I lazily laid there with my eyes closed slowly waking up. Until I realized that there was this wonderful mist spraying my legs. I opened my eyes to find it pouring down rain so hard it was raining inside the bedroom on to the bed. So I went out to the kitchen to find her at her computer at the table, with a wonderful little breakfast already laid out and waiting for the two of us. She had been up for over an hour already rescheduling everything until tomorrow. After having a week of blue skies and sun, the damn Cozumel rainy season had returned.

Nevertheless, I had an absolutely wonderful relaxed birthday. After breakfast she pulled out yet another surprise.

A beautiful handmade card filled with wonderful things, and Scrabble Twist! Essentially its scrabble but without the board and points. So it's all about finishing your pile of letters first. Because we've played scrabble a lot while travelling, but always with just the pouch of letters because you can't exactly travel with a board. I believe Cena's exact words after we read the rules were, "Take that Jasmin! Make fun of our Scrabble rules.." 

Because it was pouring rain and we were inside all day, we decided to have a gourmet food day for my birthday. So we spent some time scouring recipes online for healthy cleanse recipes and finished with an italian theme. Cena went to the market, and got the missing ingredients for the day. For lunch we made a homemade chicken, onion, spinach and goat cheese pizza with an olive-oil and garlic base, with fresh basil and parsley, on top of a homemade gluten free pizza crust. For supper, a simple olive oil, garlic, basil, parsley, menthe, mung bean noodle pasta beside an aichiote marinaded grouper fish. omg. What an incredible food day. 

But to top it all off, like she had planned the whole day at home, rain and all, she had prepared 14 coloured cards, each with a trait and something beautiful written on them to give to me at random intervals throughout the day. 

Oh, and she played me happy birthday on the ukulele. Amazing. And all this was apparently just in waiting until the grand surprise tomorrow...