You know, I think I've narrowed down my single biggest problem with the world at present, more specifically the Western world, but its applicable across the board: ungrateful. To be more blunt about it, a complete and total lack of f*cking gratitude for what you have. Do you have a secure job? Then be grateful. Do you have your own apartment or house? Then be grateful. Do you have a loving family? Then be grateful. Do you have food in your fridge and pantry? Then be grateful. Do you have clothes in your closet? Then be grateful. Do you have access to healthcare, education and clean water? Then be grateful. Can you walk down the street in safety? Then be grateful. Because you know what? That is more than what well over 2 billion other people on this planet can say.
It's estimated that around 1.7 billion people live in absolute poverty today. That is to say, a complete lack of basic human needs such as shelter, nutrition, clothing, healthcare, education, and clean water. To count the number of people on this planet living in relative poverty using Western standards as the base line would easily include well over half the world's population. In the Congo, many women can't even walk out to their fields to collect grain without being raped. In Cambodia many children cannot go play in the fields for fear of landmines. Many developing countries see entire extended families living together in a shelter the size of the average North American kitchen. You want to see gratitude for the most meagre possession or the smallest of kind gestures? Talk to those people.
Then you come to the Western World, home of most of the richest countries and highest standards of living on the planet, and what do you see? People complaining that their neighbour has a more expensive car than themselves. That another has a bigger house. That another has more expensive clothes. You see mass social conditioning to always want more. Why settle for an air mattress when you can have the King sized suite? Why settle for a Mazda when you can get a Porshe? Why settle for a 20$ dress when you can have Chanel? People become trained to always crave something bigger and better. People become jealous of their friends, family, and neighbours when they get things that they perceive as nicer than their own. It has gotten to the point, where people will have full conversations about a total stranger, criticizing them for their lifestyle. Why? Is it jealousy? Is it greed? Who knows.. One thing I do know however, is that if these people would just take a minute out of their lives, and really stop and think about what they have, they would have far less of those conversations.
That isn't to say that having nice or expensive things is something bad or something to feel guilty over. On the contrary, a high price tag on items is usually a sign that you have done well for yourself in some capacity. You should be proud of your accomplishments and thankful for what you have. The problem is when people lose track of their priorities; when they starting getting nice and expensive things all the time, start getting a big pay cheques, start living in the luxurious neighbourhood. They lose track of what is truly important. How many times have we heard about mansion foreclosures and former big-named celebrities going bankrupt?
My point is, when you live in one of the richest countries in the world, never have to worry about any basic need, have more food and clothes than you know what to do with, and have the money to buy yourself anything you could ever need, why on earth would you start bitching that someone else, who may or may not be in a better situation than you, is getting some money, or clothes, or a car, which again, may or may not be more than that what you have? I know this is a crazy far out idea, but try maybe being happy for them?! I can't even count how many times I've heard someone complaining about someone else going on vacation in Mexico. Complaining that it, "must be nice to have that kind of money" or "wonder what she did to deserve that" or else just start gossiping and make up blatantly false statements to justify their jealousy. You know what? Maybe her father died and left her some money? Maybe that family went without any holidays for a year to afford that trip? Maybe that student slept on couches and ate ramen noodles and sandwiches to afford travelling across Europe? Or maybe that man grew up poor and just works really hard for his money?
If people would just stop bitching and complaining, take a look around, and show some f*cking gratitude for what they have, the world would be a much better place. And who knows, maybe if you start being truly grateful for the things you have, and be thankful for the kindness and generosity of others, maybe, just maybe, you will start to see 'rewards' come your way too.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Go West young (wo)man, part 2
Okay, I'm officially announcing my intention to ATTEMPT to make this entry shorter, as I still have many things to do today, and mom gets home in under an hour. Yes, 'attempt' is capitalized to highlight the undeniable failure on my part to succeed in this particular endeavour over the last, oh, year or so.
So I left off at about 5am when we slowly, being a very key word here, dragged ourselves out of bed and packed to leave. Yes we probably should have done this the night before, and not left it to the wee tired hours of the morning. In my defense however, anyone that has lived with me or stayed with me knows that I can be ready, packing included, in 10-30 minutes. Samara however, with her OCDs requiring everything to be perfectly cleaned, folded, and organized, takes a little longer. So by about 6:30am, her bag was meticulously organized, and we were off, starting our 14 hour day of driving through the Rockies. Again we were in a Jetta, meaning that the over 1200kms of highway used up precisely one tank of gas, or rather diesel. Amazing. The trip was fabulous. Notwithstanding our many, many pee breaks, as we couldn't seem to synchronise our bladders and had to stop every hour or so, never knowing if the next gas station would be in 25 kms, or 125. The first 10 hours went by swimmingly.
Good music, good company, many photos, amazing sceneries, good weather, interesting pit stops, couldn't be better. However, at about the 10 hour mark, when we found a random Starbucks in a random small town along the road and stopped for a 30 minutes break, we were getting sick of driving. Kamloops felt like it took an absolute ETERNITY to get to, as you drive by 4, count em 4 towns in over 400kms to get there. Once we passed Kamloops and found the Starbucks, we still had a solid 4 hours to go before Vancouver, it was getting dark, the roads were going from beautiful in to proper winter driving conditions, and we were quite frankly just sick of being on the road. Not to mention I was getting motion sick from having been in a car for so long after spending my entire time in Europe car-less. However, we survived the next 4 hours, me by taking an hour or so nap to get over my sickness, and Samara with a triple espresso, and we made it to Vancouver just passed 20h.
Now Vancouver, like most large North American cities, is not just one city, but is actually an agglomeration of cities, all smoushed together; Vancouver, Burnaby, Richmond, Surrey, Langley, etc. The metro area of Vancouver itself being on the Western most tip of the peninsula and only having a population of just over 500 000, with the Greater Vancouver area sprawling out over hundreds of kilometers East and having a population well over 2.3 million. So we probably penetrated Vancouver before 19h, but didn't actually get to Toby's flat (an old friend of Samara's currently in law school) until after 20h. And this is by taking the freeway most of the way there. However, from the moment we FINALLY arrived at Vera's Burger Shack located about 20m from Toby's place to get some much needed food and beer after that long drive, it was all great times. Britt, another old friend of Sam's, showed up soon after, followed by Toby joining us once his class finished. The 4 of us just relaxed, caught up, and sipped a few beer before getting some much needed rest on Toby's pull-out couch.
The next day, despite this being the beginning of dizziness, nausea and weakness that would plague me on and off for the next few days, (which turned out was all stress induced - referring back to the existential crisis I mentioned which was apparently subconsciously festering in my brain this entire time), I got my first taste of Vancouver and what it was about, waking up to Toby's breathtaking view from his 12th story flat just blocks from the Pacific Ocean. Driving through the city, you get this impression that you're in this Canadian/Asian version of L.A. What with trees everywhere, very modern man-made but oversized architecture built around cars and roads, and everything very beautiful, but a kind of fake, plastic-y L.A. kind of beautiful. However, it is Canadian after all, so it still does have a very down to earth kind of charm to it, despite taking an absolute eternity to get anywhere, even just in the metro area of Vancouver. For example, for Sam and I to get from Toby's place near the Western most tip of the peninsula to downtown Vancouver, find outrageously expensive 4$ per 20min parking, and walk to our breakfast destination, took well over an hour. As it turned out, breakfast was completely and totally worth it. It had the food and service quality of Cora's, but with this European Colonial Africa themed atmosphere. Perfection. Not to mention with a window seat, fabulous Vancouver sun and +9C weather beaming down on us, and a perfect people watching view of the street. The rest of the day was mainly just looking for parking, wandering and absorbing downtown, meeting David Suzuki at Watch It (which FYI, he is not a pleasant man), meeting up with Britt, and spending over 5+ hours at the tattoo shop of what is quite possibly the slowest tattoo artist on the planet. After this the three of us went back to Toby's where he had just gotten back completely drunk from this fancy law firm mixer, cracked open the bottle of 'Freudian Sip' Okanagan Valley wine Sam and I bought early, ordered late-night Chinese food and watched South Park.
The following day, Toby went to class, a little hungover, but got there nevertheless, Sam went on the hour long drive to see her Grandma and Aunt in a Southern part of the city, while I relaxed at Toby's with some more Starbucks, enjoying the fabulous view from his balcony. Speaking of Starbucks, Vera, remember when we talked about how Berlin had what we thought was a lot of Starbucks, as there was one seemingly on every corner, only to find out it has about 18 well located stores? Well, turns out Vancouver has roughly 400 Starbucks. Which means it quite literally has one every few blocks. Meaning that no matter where you are, even if it is on the very tip of the country, you know there is a place serving all day breakfast sandwiches. Eventually, at about 15h after Toby returned home so I could give him his keys, I left to go meet up with Tom, first time I would see him since August in Switzerland. I figured out Vancouver bus system, which is surprisingly efficient, and went to the flat where he's staying at the moment. From here after catching up on the major details of our lives, we starting walking in the direction of downtown, only to stumble across a fabulous Japanese restaurant a few blocks away. I must explain here for those who aren't aware, that Vancouver's nickname is Hong-couver, or Hong-couvaaah, for a very good reason. It's population, by this point must be nearing at least 50% Asian. So there is an overwhelming abundance of amazing asian restaurants. And as everyone knows my love for sushi, given the fact that I haven't had any in literally months, and Tom is a big fan too, we got side tracked and stopped at the restaurant. It was over this AMAZING meal and speedy catch-up conversation that Tom helped me realize that the illness was stress induced. From here we took a breathtaking 20 minute walk across the bridge to downtown Vancouver, going to a pub with a terrace (Canadian terrace that is, being insulated with heat lamps, even in Vancouver).
From here it only got better, with more laughter and amazing times. Was one of the best nights out I've had in a while. Soon Jackie, a friend of mine from Saskatoon, joined us, followed by a friend of hers. Jackie and Tom, who had never met until that night, got along famously providing us with insane laughter for most of the night. They were like fucking stand up comedians. Eventually we headed to another pub in the gay district to meet up with Sam, Britt and Toby (because as it turned out the entire group was at minimum bi-curious). Gong show (in a good way) ensued from here as the 7 of us had more drinks, and went out to a club down the street. This next part, which started with 3 tequila shots, shall not go in to table dancing detail in a public blog.. Suffice to say it was very good times.
The next day (Saturday), having deliberated for over an hour about our plans driving back, we decided to leave that day, as Sam had to work at 6:45am Monday morning and my weather icon was flashing a little red lightening bolt announcing the 'Cold Snap' that was coming down from the Arctic through the Rockies down to the Prairies that same day. Turns out, it was a wise choice, as it took us an additional 4 hours driving time as we had to slow down to 60kms/hr for well over 500 kms to drive through the thick snow. As we left around 2pm from Vancouver, and our initial time was 14 hours, this meant that this trip back took us 18 hours. 18 hours straight I might add, aside from a 30 minute pit-stop in Kamloops for Wok Box. However, just like last time, everything was fantastic, aside from the last 4 hours, which yet again, seemed like time was slowing down and we would never make. By the time 3am came, we had delved in to over-tired, caffeine and sugar fueled hysteria as we broke out in to a 5 minute laughing fit trying to pick out 2$ worth of 5 cent candy for Samara. We left the Husky with 20$ worth of crap with the attendant thinking we were escaped mental patients I'm sure, only to listen to Aqua, belting out the tunes and laughing hysterically for the next few hours. By the time we FINALLY hit Jasper around 4-5am, the hysteria had worn off, and we just wanted caffeine, food, and sleep. Maybe not in that order. The next four hours dragged by as we finally rolled in to Edmonton, 18 hours later at 8am. We proceeded to go pretty much straight to sleep, only to wake up just over 3-4 hours later, myself with a nasty head cold.
I spent basically the next few days laying in bed watching endless hours of movies and Big Bang Theory, as I was sick and couldn't get out of bed, not to mention the fact that the 'cold snap' had hit and it was now about -50C outside with the wind. Finally at about 7:30pm Monday night, I got a burst of positive energy and booked my train ticket, which left at 11:45pm that night. Or as you read in the previous blog, was supposed to leave at 11:45. But thankfully, I was feeling much better and was only a little sick by this point, and aside from a few hours of sleep, spent basically the entire train ride catching up on many, many articles I'd been putting off reading for ages, and thinking and contemplating this existential crisis I was having, to I must say, as I mentioned in great detail the previous blog describing my love for the train, great success. The train finally pulled in to Rivers, Manitoba (about 20 kms North West of Brandon a full 7 hours late at 11pm. Kyler picked me up and brought me to his place where I stayed the night, to be driven to Virden by Aunty Leanne, over more fabulous conversation, where we had lunch with yet another Aunt and Uncle and Grandma Helen, followed by a leisurely drive home with them (by leisure I mean it took us roughly 3 hours to make the 100 km drive because of stopping for groceries, Tim Hortons, the bank in Reston, and Antler for Grandma). I finally arrived home about 3pm on Wednesday, after 68 hours of travel, 70 if you count the extra 2 hours of errands on the way home.
All in all, it was an amazing trip. Thanks to Sam's incredible generosity, the amazing gas mileage of Jettas, Toby for his pull-out couch, and the many rides I got to various places, the entire trip cost me very little for a fabulous experience. I got to reconnect in amazingly positive ways to two very good old friends, re-new and solidify a friendship with a third, meet some amazing people, and discover a lot about myself along the way. The 'crisis' and intense contemplation on the train ended last night at home in Redvers to amazing self-discovery, with a fresh outlook on life and renewed vigour and excitement for the next chapter of my life.
Good music, good company, many photos, amazing sceneries, good weather, interesting pit stops, couldn't be better. However, at about the 10 hour mark, when we found a random Starbucks in a random small town along the road and stopped for a 30 minutes break, we were getting sick of driving. Kamloops felt like it took an absolute ETERNITY to get to, as you drive by 4, count em 4 towns in over 400kms to get there. Once we passed Kamloops and found the Starbucks, we still had a solid 4 hours to go before Vancouver, it was getting dark, the roads were going from beautiful in to proper winter driving conditions, and we were quite frankly just sick of being on the road. Not to mention I was getting motion sick from having been in a car for so long after spending my entire time in Europe car-less. However, we survived the next 4 hours, me by taking an hour or so nap to get over my sickness, and Samara with a triple espresso, and we made it to Vancouver just passed 20h.Now Vancouver, like most large North American cities, is not just one city, but is actually an agglomeration of cities, all smoushed together; Vancouver, Burnaby, Richmond, Surrey, Langley, etc. The metro area of Vancouver itself being on the Western most tip of the peninsula and only having a population of just over 500 000, with the Greater Vancouver area sprawling out over hundreds of kilometers East and having a population well over 2.3 million. So we probably penetrated Vancouver before 19h, but didn't actually get to Toby's flat (an old friend of Samara's currently in law school) until after 20h. And this is by taking the freeway most of the way there. However, from the moment we FINALLY arrived at Vera's Burger Shack located about 20m from Toby's place to get some much needed food and beer after that long drive, it was all great times. Britt, another old friend of Sam's, showed up soon after, followed by Toby joining us once his class finished. The 4 of us just relaxed, caught up, and sipped a few beer before getting some much needed rest on Toby's pull-out couch.
The next day, despite this being the beginning of dizziness, nausea and weakness that would plague me on and off for the next few days, (which turned out was all stress induced - referring back to the existential crisis I mentioned which was apparently subconsciously festering in my brain this entire time), I got my first taste of Vancouver and what it was about, waking up to Toby's breathtaking view from his 12th story flat just blocks from the Pacific Ocean. Driving through the city, you get this impression that you're in this Canadian/Asian version of L.A. What with trees everywhere, very modern man-made but oversized architecture built around cars and roads, and everything very beautiful, but a kind of fake, plastic-y L.A. kind of beautiful. However, it is Canadian after all, so it still does have a very down to earth kind of charm to it, despite taking an absolute eternity to get anywhere, even just in the metro area of Vancouver. For example, for Sam and I to get from Toby's place near the Western most tip of the peninsula to downtown Vancouver, find outrageously expensive 4$ per 20min parking, and walk to our breakfast destination, took well over an hour. As it turned out, breakfast was completely and totally worth it. It had the food and service quality of Cora's, but with this European Colonial Africa themed atmosphere. Perfection. Not to mention with a window seat, fabulous Vancouver sun and +9C weather beaming down on us, and a perfect people watching view of the street. The rest of the day was mainly just looking for parking, wandering and absorbing downtown, meeting David Suzuki at Watch It (which FYI, he is not a pleasant man), meeting up with Britt, and spending over 5+ hours at the tattoo shop of what is quite possibly the slowest tattoo artist on the planet. After this the three of us went back to Toby's where he had just gotten back completely drunk from this fancy law firm mixer, cracked open the bottle of 'Freudian Sip' Okanagan Valley wine Sam and I bought early, ordered late-night Chinese food and watched South Park.
The following day, Toby went to class, a little hungover, but got there nevertheless, Sam went on the hour long drive to see her Grandma and Aunt in a Southern part of the city, while I relaxed at Toby's with some more Starbucks, enjoying the fabulous view from his balcony. Speaking of Starbucks, Vera, remember when we talked about how Berlin had what we thought was a lot of Starbucks, as there was one seemingly on every corner, only to find out it has about 18 well located stores? Well, turns out Vancouver has roughly 400 Starbucks. Which means it quite literally has one every few blocks. Meaning that no matter where you are, even if it is on the very tip of the country, you know there is a place serving all day breakfast sandwiches. Eventually, at about 15h after Toby returned home so I could give him his keys, I left to go meet up with Tom, first time I would see him since August in Switzerland. I figured out Vancouver bus system, which is surprisingly efficient, and went to the flat where he's staying at the moment. From here after catching up on the major details of our lives, we starting walking in the direction of downtown, only to stumble across a fabulous Japanese restaurant a few blocks away. I must explain here for those who aren't aware, that Vancouver's nickname is Hong-couver, or Hong-couvaaah, for a very good reason. It's population, by this point must be nearing at least 50% Asian. So there is an overwhelming abundance of amazing asian restaurants. And as everyone knows my love for sushi, given the fact that I haven't had any in literally months, and Tom is a big fan too, we got side tracked and stopped at the restaurant. It was over this AMAZING meal and speedy catch-up conversation that Tom helped me realize that the illness was stress induced. From here we took a breathtaking 20 minute walk across the bridge to downtown Vancouver, going to a pub with a terrace (Canadian terrace that is, being insulated with heat lamps, even in Vancouver).
From here it only got better, with more laughter and amazing times. Was one of the best nights out I've had in a while. Soon Jackie, a friend of mine from Saskatoon, joined us, followed by a friend of hers. Jackie and Tom, who had never met until that night, got along famously providing us with insane laughter for most of the night. They were like fucking stand up comedians. Eventually we headed to another pub in the gay district to meet up with Sam, Britt and Toby (because as it turned out the entire group was at minimum bi-curious). Gong show (in a good way) ensued from here as the 7 of us had more drinks, and went out to a club down the street. This next part, which started with 3 tequila shots, shall not go in to table dancing detail in a public blog.. Suffice to say it was very good times.
The next day (Saturday), having deliberated for over an hour about our plans driving back, we decided to leave that day, as Sam had to work at 6:45am Monday morning and my weather icon was flashing a little red lightening bolt announcing the 'Cold Snap' that was coming down from the Arctic through the Rockies down to the Prairies that same day. Turns out, it was a wise choice, as it took us an additional 4 hours driving time as we had to slow down to 60kms/hr for well over 500 kms to drive through the thick snow. As we left around 2pm from Vancouver, and our initial time was 14 hours, this meant that this trip back took us 18 hours. 18 hours straight I might add, aside from a 30 minute pit-stop in Kamloops for Wok Box. However, just like last time, everything was fantastic, aside from the last 4 hours, which yet again, seemed like time was slowing down and we would never make. By the time 3am came, we had delved in to over-tired, caffeine and sugar fueled hysteria as we broke out in to a 5 minute laughing fit trying to pick out 2$ worth of 5 cent candy for Samara. We left the Husky with 20$ worth of crap with the attendant thinking we were escaped mental patients I'm sure, only to listen to Aqua, belting out the tunes and laughing hysterically for the next few hours. By the time we FINALLY hit Jasper around 4-5am, the hysteria had worn off, and we just wanted caffeine, food, and sleep. Maybe not in that order. The next four hours dragged by as we finally rolled in to Edmonton, 18 hours later at 8am. We proceeded to go pretty much straight to sleep, only to wake up just over 3-4 hours later, myself with a nasty head cold.
I spent basically the next few days laying in bed watching endless hours of movies and Big Bang Theory, as I was sick and couldn't get out of bed, not to mention the fact that the 'cold snap' had hit and it was now about -50C outside with the wind. Finally at about 7:30pm Monday night, I got a burst of positive energy and booked my train ticket, which left at 11:45pm that night. Or as you read in the previous blog, was supposed to leave at 11:45. But thankfully, I was feeling much better and was only a little sick by this point, and aside from a few hours of sleep, spent basically the entire train ride catching up on many, many articles I'd been putting off reading for ages, and thinking and contemplating this existential crisis I was having, to I must say, as I mentioned in great detail the previous blog describing my love for the train, great success. The train finally pulled in to Rivers, Manitoba (about 20 kms North West of Brandon a full 7 hours late at 11pm. Kyler picked me up and brought me to his place where I stayed the night, to be driven to Virden by Aunty Leanne, over more fabulous conversation, where we had lunch with yet another Aunt and Uncle and Grandma Helen, followed by a leisurely drive home with them (by leisure I mean it took us roughly 3 hours to make the 100 km drive because of stopping for groceries, Tim Hortons, the bank in Reston, and Antler for Grandma). I finally arrived home about 3pm on Wednesday, after 68 hours of travel, 70 if you count the extra 2 hours of errands on the way home.
All in all, it was an amazing trip. Thanks to Sam's incredible generosity, the amazing gas mileage of Jettas, Toby for his pull-out couch, and the many rides I got to various places, the entire trip cost me very little for a fabulous experience. I got to reconnect in amazingly positive ways to two very good old friends, re-new and solidify a friendship with a third, meet some amazing people, and discover a lot about myself along the way. The 'crisis' and intense contemplation on the train ended last night at home in Redvers to amazing self-discovery, with a fresh outlook on life and renewed vigour and excitement for the next chapter of my life.
Go West young (wo)man, part 1
This entry is coming at you all a little late, I realize this. Normally for travel I like to update as I go along, partly to keep the length of individual entries down to something readable, and to have more insight and wit about each one, and believe me I had every intention to! But then every morning it felt like we were being rushed out of the house or just had too many other things to do. Then on the train, when I did have an extra-ordinate amount of time, I spent most of it thinking over my life existentially (with great success I might add). Now I'm back in Redvers, back at the kitchen table, sun pouring through the window, masking the frigid Arctic air outside. I did arrive only yesterday afternoon however, so this isn't too late coming and the trip is still pretty fresh in mind. In some respect, this will be better, in the sense that I will have a global perspective of the trip rather than the day to day changes. On the other hand, it will be quite lengthy, so I apologize in advance. I may break it up in to 2 sections. Part 1: The first half and Edmonton, Part 2: Vancouver and the second half.
It all started exactly 2 weeks ago when I left Redvers for Saskatoon, logging in my first 5 hours on the road. Aside from lunch at my favourite café in the city, and a wonderful and much needed catch-up beer (or 2) at one of my favourite pubs in Saskatoon with soon-to-be-Captain Will, it was all very chill. This was fine though, because Saskatoon was just a prelude to Jocelyne, an old colleague of mine from the Cercle Français, picking me up the next day on Broadway to give me a ride to Edmonton, officially starting the trip and logging in another 5 hours. It was beautiful. 5 hours on a double lane highway in a Jetta at sunset, one person asleep in the backseat, and 2 more talking non-stop for for the entire 5 hours (bet you can't guess who that was... ). The drive ended up costing me a grand total of 14$ in gas, and by 18h30 I was in Edmonton at Samara's beautiful basement suit, trying to coax her terrified-of-suitcases-cat out from under her bed.
This cat also signals the beginning of me popping allergy pills like m&ms basically for the entire time I was in Edmonton. Mom's cat Fred, as he is over 20lbs and three-legged, doesn't really kick up much hair or dust because he doesn't move very much. I mean, he has trouble turning around on the arm of the couch without falling. So I only have to take an allergy pill from time to time. Sam's cat Carmen however, is long-haired, very energetic, shed's like mad, and loves to sleep directly where I slept, thereby covering it and everything else in long cat hair. However, thanks to Reactine, Claritin and about a box of kleenexes I survived. She is adorable though. She can play catch, and does side-arm snags better than most goalies.
I spent the next 4 full days in Edmonton. 2 of which Sam was off work, (aka, actually took a day off, something she failed to do in the last 3 consecutive weeks of 14 hours days - yes, she absolutely loves her job), and the other 2 (shockingly) she picked up a few shifts. To clarify a bit, at the moment Sam works about 5 (or 8, it's hard to keep count) different positions at the hospital, varying from Bed Clerk to working in the ER, to the OR, to Clinical Research, just biding time until she gets accepted in to Med School in Bristol, UK for Surgery.
Day 1 started off amazingly. We went for a fabulous breakfast at this place called Cora's, which, had it not been for the atrociously loud American atmosphere of the place, would have won my heart for favourite breakfast spot. After this we grabbed some Starbucks and went to the Alberta Gallery of Art. I should clarify that in Edmonton, it takes about a half hour by car to get anywhere, and twice to three times as long by public transit. It is a Prairie city that has expanded dramatically in the latter part of 20th century, putting its population at about a million, but still with the infrastructure and expansion style of any other prairie city. Making it a nice clean green city, but lengthy to get anywhere. So by the time we left Cora's, got coffee and made it to the Art Gallery, it was probably close to 15h. The Gallery though, boasted exhibits by Renoir, Monet, and the likes. What we found however, was one single painting by Monet, a single painting by Renoir, and 300 other no-name sceneries, not even of the same style. I am a huge art lover, but had I wanted to see beautiful realistic green scenery, I would look out the bloody window!
Despite this, Sam and I did have a wonderful day, as the last time we'd actually seen each other in person and spent time together was when we both lived in Saskatoon, which she left in 2009 I believe. After this, and a quick disappointing look at the Titanic Artifacts exhibit at the Science Centre (which cost an outstanding 25$, so by quick look I mean we saw the entrance and turned around and left), we went and got some groceries, running in to a German girl of all people while we were there, got some Danish beer, picked up some Wok Box lemon chicken and chow mein takeout, and went home. To cap off our enriching, multicultural day with Canadian/Chinese food and Danish beer, we decided to go very Saskatchewan, like the Prairie girls we are, and finish off our catch-up day by playing cards sitting on the floor in her living room drinking cocktails mixed with Krakken Rum, Hypnotiq, and Fruit juice. They were delicious I might add.
Day 2 was marked by one of the most delicious lattes I've ever had on a full day of amazing conversation. Now that all the catching up and remembering how to be around each other was out of the way, there was room to really dive below the surface. That conversation in that café was one of those moments that truly bring you closer as human beings, much like the one Jasmin and I had weeks ago while 'touring' home from the bar. The entire day was just relaxing amazing-ness, to use the technical term. Between the coffee, the locally brewed beer and appetizer supper at Brewsters, Martinis at Hudsons over more crazy conversation, and cheesy happy-go-lucky movie at the Cineplex to finish it off.
The next days, Monday and Tuesday, Samara worked until 17h, which worked out wonderfully. She got to work and I got to spend the day at home alone for the first time in months. I read, I research, I responded to emails I'd been putting off for months. It was a fabulously productive day. Then I walked up to Whyte ave, Edmonton's Broadway, got my hair cut and had wonderful conversation by Brandi from Wired 96.3's little sister, and continued reading my words-cannot-describe-amazing-book that Jasmin had lent me on one of her "You just need to read this" book swapings. After work Sam took me out to this seemingly great place that we wanted to try. French chef, French wait-staff, edgy yet classy decor, it all seemed great on paper. Turns out however, the waiter was one of those arrogant Québecois who clearly did not realize that the Prairies, Edmonton in particular, has a very prominent francophone populations, as he went off on this Québecois swearing tangent while trying to impress us with his french. It wasn't even a funny swearing tangent, it was just highly unprofessional. I didn't let on in the moment that I knew perfectly well what he was saying, we let his tip do the talking. The meal itself was just as disappointing. Our cheese and meat plate appetizer tasted like it was bought in bulk, defrosted, and dumped on the plate. The entrées tasted very much the same. It honestly tasted like the chef wasn't in that day, and the waiter himself was defrosting some frozen Stroganoff to put on our plate.
Anyways.. To wrap this already too long blog up, despite the meal being terrible, the experience itself was good. Tuesday went down very much the same way with a fabulously productive day marking the beginning of my existential crisis of sorts, or rather the culmination, as truly the beginning started in Switzerland. The evening was extremely chill, as we had to get up around 5h the next morning to leave for Vancouver. Just sitting on the couch, sipping beer, having ground-breaking brownie-induced conversation, finishing things up with Avatar. Next thing we know were dragging ourselves out of bed at 5am after what felt like 20 minutes of sleep.
It all started exactly 2 weeks ago when I left Redvers for Saskatoon, logging in my first 5 hours on the road. Aside from lunch at my favourite café in the city, and a wonderful and much needed catch-up beer (or 2) at one of my favourite pubs in Saskatoon with soon-to-be-Captain Will, it was all very chill. This was fine though, because Saskatoon was just a prelude to Jocelyne, an old colleague of mine from the Cercle Français, picking me up the next day on Broadway to give me a ride to Edmonton, officially starting the trip and logging in another 5 hours. It was beautiful. 5 hours on a double lane highway in a Jetta at sunset, one person asleep in the backseat, and 2 more talking non-stop for for the entire 5 hours (bet you can't guess who that was... ). The drive ended up costing me a grand total of 14$ in gas, and by 18h30 I was in Edmonton at Samara's beautiful basement suit, trying to coax her terrified-of-suitcases-cat out from under her bed.
This cat also signals the beginning of me popping allergy pills like m&ms basically for the entire time I was in Edmonton. Mom's cat Fred, as he is over 20lbs and three-legged, doesn't really kick up much hair or dust because he doesn't move very much. I mean, he has trouble turning around on the arm of the couch without falling. So I only have to take an allergy pill from time to time. Sam's cat Carmen however, is long-haired, very energetic, shed's like mad, and loves to sleep directly where I slept, thereby covering it and everything else in long cat hair. However, thanks to Reactine, Claritin and about a box of kleenexes I survived. She is adorable though. She can play catch, and does side-arm snags better than most goalies.
I spent the next 4 full days in Edmonton. 2 of which Sam was off work, (aka, actually took a day off, something she failed to do in the last 3 consecutive weeks of 14 hours days - yes, she absolutely loves her job), and the other 2 (shockingly) she picked up a few shifts. To clarify a bit, at the moment Sam works about 5 (or 8, it's hard to keep count) different positions at the hospital, varying from Bed Clerk to working in the ER, to the OR, to Clinical Research, just biding time until she gets accepted in to Med School in Bristol, UK for Surgery.
Day 1 started off amazingly. We went for a fabulous breakfast at this place called Cora's, which, had it not been for the atrociously loud American atmosphere of the place, would have won my heart for favourite breakfast spot. After this we grabbed some Starbucks and went to the Alberta Gallery of Art. I should clarify that in Edmonton, it takes about a half hour by car to get anywhere, and twice to three times as long by public transit. It is a Prairie city that has expanded dramatically in the latter part of 20th century, putting its population at about a million, but still with the infrastructure and expansion style of any other prairie city. Making it a nice clean green city, but lengthy to get anywhere. So by the time we left Cora's, got coffee and made it to the Art Gallery, it was probably close to 15h. The Gallery though, boasted exhibits by Renoir, Monet, and the likes. What we found however, was one single painting by Monet, a single painting by Renoir, and 300 other no-name sceneries, not even of the same style. I am a huge art lover, but had I wanted to see beautiful realistic green scenery, I would look out the bloody window!
Despite this, Sam and I did have a wonderful day, as the last time we'd actually seen each other in person and spent time together was when we both lived in Saskatoon, which she left in 2009 I believe. After this, and a quick disappointing look at the Titanic Artifacts exhibit at the Science Centre (which cost an outstanding 25$, so by quick look I mean we saw the entrance and turned around and left), we went and got some groceries, running in to a German girl of all people while we were there, got some Danish beer, picked up some Wok Box lemon chicken and chow mein takeout, and went home. To cap off our enriching, multicultural day with Canadian/Chinese food and Danish beer, we decided to go very Saskatchewan, like the Prairie girls we are, and finish off our catch-up day by playing cards sitting on the floor in her living room drinking cocktails mixed with Krakken Rum, Hypnotiq, and Fruit juice. They were delicious I might add.
The next days, Monday and Tuesday, Samara worked until 17h, which worked out wonderfully. She got to work and I got to spend the day at home alone for the first time in months. I read, I research, I responded to emails I'd been putting off for months. It was a fabulously productive day. Then I walked up to Whyte ave, Edmonton's Broadway, got my hair cut and had wonderful conversation by Brandi from Wired 96.3's little sister, and continued reading my words-cannot-describe-amazing-book that Jasmin had lent me on one of her "You just need to read this" book swapings. After work Sam took me out to this seemingly great place that we wanted to try. French chef, French wait-staff, edgy yet classy decor, it all seemed great on paper. Turns out however, the waiter was one of those arrogant Québecois who clearly did not realize that the Prairies, Edmonton in particular, has a very prominent francophone populations, as he went off on this Québecois swearing tangent while trying to impress us with his french. It wasn't even a funny swearing tangent, it was just highly unprofessional. I didn't let on in the moment that I knew perfectly well what he was saying, we let his tip do the talking. The meal itself was just as disappointing. Our cheese and meat plate appetizer tasted like it was bought in bulk, defrosted, and dumped on the plate. The entrées tasted very much the same. It honestly tasted like the chef wasn't in that day, and the waiter himself was defrosting some frozen Stroganoff to put on our plate.
Anyways.. To wrap this already too long blog up, despite the meal being terrible, the experience itself was good. Tuesday went down very much the same way with a fabulously productive day marking the beginning of my existential crisis of sorts, or rather the culmination, as truly the beginning started in Switzerland. The evening was extremely chill, as we had to get up around 5h the next morning to leave for Vancouver. Just sitting on the couch, sipping beer, having ground-breaking brownie-induced conversation, finishing things up with Avatar. Next thing we know were dragging ourselves out of bed at 5am after what felt like 20 minutes of sleep.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Random musings on the train..
Ahh the train. Have I mentioned that I love travelling by train? That in Europe when I was bored or stressed I would often just take a trip by train, usually to a nearby city, for nothing in particular, often just to sit at Starbucks for an hour or so and return. I just find it so relaxing. Unlike in vehicles, (provided I’m facing the right direction) I don’t get motion sick, but I still get to enjoy the beautiful scenery. There is no take offs or landings, no putting your tray table up and putting away electronics. There is space to walk about, get food, stretch your legs. The seats are comfy, there is no TV, no radio, everyone listening through their respective headphones. And in this car in particular, aside from the occasional screaming child heard when the train stops, there is no noise sound other then the sound of the train on the tracks, and the train whistling as we pass roads. I think I love it because I find it’s the best of both worlds. It has the relaxing soothing effect of watching scenery or a beautiful view, yet still allows me to work on my laptop and read.
On a slightly unrelated note, when is it that I developed this hatred and intolerance for TVs? I think I first really noticed it in Switzerland, how it intensely bothered me when the boys would turn the TV on in the mornings while eating breakfast. I think I find that it disturbs the peace in a way that conversation and music cannot. It’s so artificial and invasive. Nothing but commercialism, false pretences, and garbage enveloping every inch of your space. Not that I’m saying televisions themselves are evil, I think they’re indispensable for movies and gaming, but as far as TV shows go, I strongly prefer other mediums, such as computers. Maybe it’s because movies are usually chosen specifically for entertainment purposes, and usually watched by more than one person. Movies are also the offspring of theatre, which in its essence is a grandiose performance on stage, so a 60” screen with the latest surround sound makes sense in this respect. Gaming is much the same thing. TV programming on the other hand, I think is a time waster. Don’t get me wrong, I have a few TV shows that I watch myself, and a few more that I watch seasons of at a time when I’m having a lazy day or evening. But I readily acknowledge that unlike movies that have a purpose, a message, symbolism, etc. or games that are interactive, sitcoms, reality TV, soap operas, talk shows, etc. are for entertainment purposes only. Aside from the occasional Oprah or Dr. Phil, they are not meant to be educational, or even informative. Not only this, but the platform on which they are viewed, in this case being the station or channel, bombards you with subliminal messaging in the form of adds, news clips, and infomercials. They are meant to make money.
I guess I just find that it symbolizes everything that I don’t like about North American/Western culture. This is my own personal view obviously, shaped by my own experiences and perceptions. Also probably the same reason why I detest reality TV. Sometimes I find myself wishing for that Zombie Apocalypse everyone talks about. The complete and utter destruction of all unimportant aspects of life for a return to the essentials of survival. Or maybe just a the implosion of traditional forms of electricity, forcing us to use our few sustainable electrical sources for the essentials. Who knows, maybe by the end of this year ;).
On a slightly unrelated note, when is it that I developed this hatred and intolerance for TVs? I think I first really noticed it in Switzerland, how it intensely bothered me when the boys would turn the TV on in the mornings while eating breakfast. I think I find that it disturbs the peace in a way that conversation and music cannot. It’s so artificial and invasive. Nothing but commercialism, false pretences, and garbage enveloping every inch of your space. Not that I’m saying televisions themselves are evil, I think they’re indispensable for movies and gaming, but as far as TV shows go, I strongly prefer other mediums, such as computers. Maybe it’s because movies are usually chosen specifically for entertainment purposes, and usually watched by more than one person. Movies are also the offspring of theatre, which in its essence is a grandiose performance on stage, so a 60” screen with the latest surround sound makes sense in this respect. Gaming is much the same thing. TV programming on the other hand, I think is a time waster. Don’t get me wrong, I have a few TV shows that I watch myself, and a few more that I watch seasons of at a time when I’m having a lazy day or evening. But I readily acknowledge that unlike movies that have a purpose, a message, symbolism, etc. or games that are interactive, sitcoms, reality TV, soap operas, talk shows, etc. are for entertainment purposes only. Aside from the occasional Oprah or Dr. Phil, they are not meant to be educational, or even informative. Not only this, but the platform on which they are viewed, in this case being the station or channel, bombards you with subliminal messaging in the form of adds, news clips, and infomercials. They are meant to make money.
I guess I just find that it symbolizes everything that I don’t like about North American/Western culture. This is my own personal view obviously, shaped by my own experiences and perceptions. Also probably the same reason why I detest reality TV. Sometimes I find myself wishing for that Zombie Apocalypse everyone talks about. The complete and utter destruction of all unimportant aspects of life for a return to the essentials of survival. Or maybe just a the implosion of traditional forms of electricity, forcing us to use our few sustainable electrical sources for the essentials. Who knows, maybe by the end of this year ;).
SIDE NOTE: Still on the train. This blog is a full +12 hours after my first one, yet we have just arrived in Saskatoon. Because of the lovely Canadian weather, which is causing congestion on the tracks, causing us to follow freight trains doing 45 kms/h, the train is now running a full 4 hours late. Might very well have a third blog (hopefully about Vancouver this time) by the end of the day.
Rail Canada, beautiful but slow
I begin this entry just after having boarded the VIA Rail Canada train in Edmonton heading back to Rivers, MB, where I will finish my road trip with an hour and a half drive back to Redvers. For starters, the train is already well over an hour late. This may be attributed however to the ‘cold front’ that hit the Prairies a few days ago, which brought the temperatures plunging from our unseasonably beautiful practically snow-less winter, to our January norm of snowy -30C plus the wind chill factor, bringing it down to a balmy -40C. Other than the tardiness, which is not unique to Canadian trains (even the German trains are known to be hours late in cold weather), everything has been a very pleasant surprise.
The Station itself, as with all Canadian buildings, is wonderfully insulated (unlike most European stations), leaving the up and coming passengers waiting in a cosy but nicely sized station; especially given the popularity of travel by train. I was half expecting a little shack in the middle of nowhere, standing freezing there or sitting on cold freezing metal benches waiting for the train. There was even free coffee, tea and hot chocolate. I was even taken aback by the passengers taking the train. The creepiness ratio is about 1:15, maybe even 1:20, as compared to an astounding 1:2 when taking Greyhound buses. Mostly musicians, seniors, and scenic travellers.
The train is now over 1h30 hours late, as we have moved roughly 20m from the station to sit atop a bridge nearby. However, this slow speed doesn’t seem to be confined to the promptness or speed of the train itself (which I estimate to have a whopping high speed of 60-80km/h max), but the entire Canadian train experience. The staff are slow to walk from one side of the station to the other. They are slow in walking to the door and checking the situation outside. They are even slow deboarding and boarding the train. Perhaps slow isn’t the right word.. maybe its simply an unpressed nature. We have the time, why not take it. I suppose, one doesn’t take a 60 km/h train if one is in a hurry. As compared to the European train experience where passengers are impatiently waiting to debark from the train full minutes before it actually arrives at the station, and impatiently queuing by the doors to enter even before the train has arrived. Here people are calmly seated inside the warm station as it is announced that the train has arrived. The only movement seen is jackets being fastened as a pre-emptive brace against the cold. Ever so slowly (over the course of a full 10-15 mins) passengers come off the train, baggage is unloaded, and staff go about their business. Afterwards, again at the same rate passengers board the train from the other side. The full procedure taking 20 mins at best.
Once boarded the train, more wonderful surprises awaited me. Boarding first off all, was nothing like the panic and confusion of European trains, wondering where your car is, frantically running to the other side of the platform to get it, checking seat numbers, pushing through people. It was a calm 5m walk guided by railings and fences to the single car taking on passengers at this stop. There was even a little footstool to assist in the 1 foot step up to the train stairs. Once inside, the first thing I noticed was that all the seats face in the same direction save for 2 or 4 quad seats! (My biggest issue with European trains being the reversed seating, as it makes me motion sick). However, not only were the seats all facing the same direction, but the sheer leg space between seats is unprecedented. Well, at least in any Economy on any plane or train I have ever seen. I kid you not, there is at least 2-3 feet between my seat and the one ahead of me. Not only with a footrest at the bottom but with a recliner footrest built in to the seat! There is also 2 outlets next to my little seat alone. Odd feature though, is that there is no middle arm rest between seats. More room for cuddling?
There were a few others things I noticed about the whole experience that made it markedly Canadian. For one, when the steward came to check my ticket, it wasn’t the procession line of ticket checking you normally see, but rather a personal experience asking where I was headed, checking the ticket, and writing a little VIA Rail post it with this information to be stuck on the luggage rack above my head (which is also at least 3 feet up). Not only this, but the duties carried about and conversations of the staff could also not be found anywhere else. Such as the man who drove the snowblower on the tracks and on the platform sidewalks before the train arrived, or the two staff members having a conversation about what to do with the gophers or squirrels that managed to burrow in to a maintenance and storage area of the station.
As I final note I’m beginning to see why it will take me 16 hours to travel just over 1000 kms in the Canadian Prairies, home of the straightest and flattest roads on the planet. It’s now almost 1:45am, approaching a full 2 hours after the scheduled departure time and we are still not yet outside of Edmonton. On the bright side, this will give me more than enough time to write a catch-up entry about Vancouver and the rest of my trip, go through my pictures, sleep, finish my novel, still with plenty of time to spare for staring blankly out the window.
SIDE NOTE: This is also by FAR the nicest and best smelling train bathroom I have ever seen in my life. Aside from the fact that the train is the cheapest way to travel in Canada (out of the very expensive rental car, price of gas, train, bus, plane options), it is most definitely my new favourite.
The Station itself, as with all Canadian buildings, is wonderfully insulated (unlike most European stations), leaving the up and coming passengers waiting in a cosy but nicely sized station; especially given the popularity of travel by train. I was half expecting a little shack in the middle of nowhere, standing freezing there or sitting on cold freezing metal benches waiting for the train. There was even free coffee, tea and hot chocolate. I was even taken aback by the passengers taking the train. The creepiness ratio is about 1:15, maybe even 1:20, as compared to an astounding 1:2 when taking Greyhound buses. Mostly musicians, seniors, and scenic travellers.
The train is now over 1h30 hours late, as we have moved roughly 20m from the station to sit atop a bridge nearby. However, this slow speed doesn’t seem to be confined to the promptness or speed of the train itself (which I estimate to have a whopping high speed of 60-80km/h max), but the entire Canadian train experience. The staff are slow to walk from one side of the station to the other. They are slow in walking to the door and checking the situation outside. They are even slow deboarding and boarding the train. Perhaps slow isn’t the right word.. maybe its simply an unpressed nature. We have the time, why not take it. I suppose, one doesn’t take a 60 km/h train if one is in a hurry. As compared to the European train experience where passengers are impatiently waiting to debark from the train full minutes before it actually arrives at the station, and impatiently queuing by the doors to enter even before the train has arrived. Here people are calmly seated inside the warm station as it is announced that the train has arrived. The only movement seen is jackets being fastened as a pre-emptive brace against the cold. Ever so slowly (over the course of a full 10-15 mins) passengers come off the train, baggage is unloaded, and staff go about their business. Afterwards, again at the same rate passengers board the train from the other side. The full procedure taking 20 mins at best.
Once boarded the train, more wonderful surprises awaited me. Boarding first off all, was nothing like the panic and confusion of European trains, wondering where your car is, frantically running to the other side of the platform to get it, checking seat numbers, pushing through people. It was a calm 5m walk guided by railings and fences to the single car taking on passengers at this stop. There was even a little footstool to assist in the 1 foot step up to the train stairs. Once inside, the first thing I noticed was that all the seats face in the same direction save for 2 or 4 quad seats! (My biggest issue with European trains being the reversed seating, as it makes me motion sick). However, not only were the seats all facing the same direction, but the sheer leg space between seats is unprecedented. Well, at least in any Economy on any plane or train I have ever seen. I kid you not, there is at least 2-3 feet between my seat and the one ahead of me. Not only with a footrest at the bottom but with a recliner footrest built in to the seat! There is also 2 outlets next to my little seat alone. Odd feature though, is that there is no middle arm rest between seats. More room for cuddling?
There were a few others things I noticed about the whole experience that made it markedly Canadian. For one, when the steward came to check my ticket, it wasn’t the procession line of ticket checking you normally see, but rather a personal experience asking where I was headed, checking the ticket, and writing a little VIA Rail post it with this information to be stuck on the luggage rack above my head (which is also at least 3 feet up). Not only this, but the duties carried about and conversations of the staff could also not be found anywhere else. Such as the man who drove the snowblower on the tracks and on the platform sidewalks before the train arrived, or the two staff members having a conversation about what to do with the gophers or squirrels that managed to burrow in to a maintenance and storage area of the station.
As I final note I’m beginning to see why it will take me 16 hours to travel just over 1000 kms in the Canadian Prairies, home of the straightest and flattest roads on the planet. It’s now almost 1:45am, approaching a full 2 hours after the scheduled departure time and we are still not yet outside of Edmonton. On the bright side, this will give me more than enough time to write a catch-up entry about Vancouver and the rest of my trip, go through my pictures, sleep, finish my novel, still with plenty of time to spare for staring blankly out the window.
SIDE NOTE: This is also by FAR the nicest and best smelling train bathroom I have ever seen in my life. Aside from the fact that the train is the cheapest way to travel in Canada (out of the very expensive rental car, price of gas, train, bus, plane options), it is most definitely my new favourite.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Musings for 2012 concluding with threatening the universe, good start.
Tis the first day of 2012. A new year, although supposedly the last. Choosing to ignore that last sentence, it's the beginning of a new year, a new era, in more ways than one. An era of change perhaps. No, most definitely of change. 2012 is definitely a turning point. Indeed many turning points. I feel that the end of 2011, the very last hour and a half of 2011 to be precise, was a sort of awakening. Shortly after 10:30pm, I feel as though I were snapped or shaken awake. Suddenly I wasn't having fun anymore with the juvenile games that were being played by all around the table. Suddenly the alcohol in my system seemed to dissipate, the fog cleared, and I was awake. But I feel as though I awoke among chaos. Cultural, intellectual chaos perhaps? As I'm sure that is what New Years festivities seem to be to the trained eye. Or maybe they would argue that it is a celebration of culture? In which case, I think I feel worse about it. Highly inebriated festivities which if anything promote drinking and losing ones f*cking mind to usher in the "new" year. But these are festivities that I once loved. Games I once loved. I thrived in the inebriated chaos. The juvenility was a great source of entertainment. But what now?
Perhaps this awakening was a long time coming. Perhaps that is the very theme of 2011, the year of the awakening. Maybe last night was just its climax, failing full synchronicity by an hour and a half. I mean, if I look back at 2011, there are many events I suppose that would suggest an end of one era and the beginning of another. Right from the beginning, ushering in 2011 in Germany with people who would come to be very dear to me over the course of the following year. Having a fallout with my closest friend from my undergraduate days. Finding comfort in the multicultural muses of European cities. Having a relationship epiphany and deciding to intentionally remain single for self-reflection. Finishing a Masters degree and with it my formal 'taught' education. Rediscovering the field of climate change, officially coupling it with my study of International Conflict. Undergoing a profound, life-changing experience in the Swiss Alps working for and living with an International Environmental Lawyer, the benefits of which could not possibly even beging to be enumerated. My big brother and uncle dying in a car accident the day before my birthday while I was still in Switzerland, which had me miss the funeral and formal mourning ceremonies. This event then prompting me to return "home" to Saskatchewan and spend my intermediary job search period there reconnecting with friends and family rather than spending it as a wandering academic minstrel in Europe.
So I suppose, 2011 from the beginning was laying a course for the beginning of a new life, a new path, and slowly shattered the illusions and attachments I held to my old life and old path, which I guess had reached its inevitable end. Following this theory then, my returning to Saskatchewan and my experiences here, culminating in this so called 'awakening' last night, were the inevitable conclusion of 2011. It was the final realisation that, to put it bluntly, I have changed, and apparently passed the point of no-return. Because it's not them that has changed. Redvers has most definitely not changed. The games have not changed. The culture has not changed. The alcohol and manner it is consumed has definitely not changed. It's my perception of it all that has changed. My place in the scheme of it all has changed. So I suppose that awakening was cementing this ultimate realisation; that there is no going back, only forward. Indeed, this whole of my experiences during this séjour in Saskatchewan all seem to suggest that. But Saskatchewan, despite it all, is 'home' to me. It is that comfort zone where everything is easy and uncomplicated. There is a part of me that longs for nothing more than to be happy here, like everyone else. Even to be happy back in Saskatoon. I guess part of that ultimate realisation is the final shattering of that cracked and flawed pipe dream. Finally fully accepting that on the path to the next step of my life, there is no going back to the comforts of my youth. Accepting that the door to my past with everything and everyone in it, has officially closed and locked, leaving only a window from which to look back.
So, if the final conclusion of 2011 and the message to start 2012 by, is that there is no going back, only forward... then the great question becomes, where to go? Where is this next door? Maybe by formally resigning my efforts to fight against universe and pry open that now locked door, and by accepting this revelation as a starting point for 2012, I will receive some clues as to what the answer might be or where it lies? Well, let's hope. Because if all the coming events of January don't provide me with some sort of guidance or some sort of path forward, even the first steps to the path, or even a friggin signpost pointing me in the direction of the path, I'll.... I'll what? Sit here and threaten the universe via blog?
Perhaps this awakening was a long time coming. Perhaps that is the very theme of 2011, the year of the awakening. Maybe last night was just its climax, failing full synchronicity by an hour and a half. I mean, if I look back at 2011, there are many events I suppose that would suggest an end of one era and the beginning of another. Right from the beginning, ushering in 2011 in Germany with people who would come to be very dear to me over the course of the following year. Having a fallout with my closest friend from my undergraduate days. Finding comfort in the multicultural muses of European cities. Having a relationship epiphany and deciding to intentionally remain single for self-reflection. Finishing a Masters degree and with it my formal 'taught' education. Rediscovering the field of climate change, officially coupling it with my study of International Conflict. Undergoing a profound, life-changing experience in the Swiss Alps working for and living with an International Environmental Lawyer, the benefits of which could not possibly even beging to be enumerated. My big brother and uncle dying in a car accident the day before my birthday while I was still in Switzerland, which had me miss the funeral and formal mourning ceremonies. This event then prompting me to return "home" to Saskatchewan and spend my intermediary job search period there reconnecting with friends and family rather than spending it as a wandering academic minstrel in Europe.
So I suppose, 2011 from the beginning was laying a course for the beginning of a new life, a new path, and slowly shattered the illusions and attachments I held to my old life and old path, which I guess had reached its inevitable end. Following this theory then, my returning to Saskatchewan and my experiences here, culminating in this so called 'awakening' last night, were the inevitable conclusion of 2011. It was the final realisation that, to put it bluntly, I have changed, and apparently passed the point of no-return. Because it's not them that has changed. Redvers has most definitely not changed. The games have not changed. The culture has not changed. The alcohol and manner it is consumed has definitely not changed. It's my perception of it all that has changed. My place in the scheme of it all has changed. So I suppose that awakening was cementing this ultimate realisation; that there is no going back, only forward. Indeed, this whole of my experiences during this séjour in Saskatchewan all seem to suggest that. But Saskatchewan, despite it all, is 'home' to me. It is that comfort zone where everything is easy and uncomplicated. There is a part of me that longs for nothing more than to be happy here, like everyone else. Even to be happy back in Saskatoon. I guess part of that ultimate realisation is the final shattering of that cracked and flawed pipe dream. Finally fully accepting that on the path to the next step of my life, there is no going back to the comforts of my youth. Accepting that the door to my past with everything and everyone in it, has officially closed and locked, leaving only a window from which to look back.
So, if the final conclusion of 2011 and the message to start 2012 by, is that there is no going back, only forward... then the great question becomes, where to go? Where is this next door? Maybe by formally resigning my efforts to fight against universe and pry open that now locked door, and by accepting this revelation as a starting point for 2012, I will receive some clues as to what the answer might be or where it lies? Well, let's hope. Because if all the coming events of January don't provide me with some sort of guidance or some sort of path forward, even the first steps to the path, or even a friggin signpost pointing me in the direction of the path, I'll.... I'll what? Sit here and threaten the universe via blog?
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