Taking the good with the bad

It is currently 5:16am local time and I am sitting at the Tim Hortons near Arrivals in Montréal airport. Honestly, I don't really know what time I feel like it is; early morning, late morning, afternoon, evening...Am I hungry, tired, stressed? Not a clue. All I know is that it's dark out, there's snow everywhere, it's -10C, and everyone seems perfectly content with this. For once I'm not getting any looks for walking around in a t-shirt. And the fact that I'm sipping a Large Green Tea that together with a toasted bagel with cream cheese cost me 3,39$. I missed Canada :) I also very much missed hearing Canadian French, and people communicating by slipping back in forth between the two languages. Despite the fact that I've been in this airport for over 5 hours, and I have another 8-9 to go, I am really loving this moment.

This entire trip has been along these same lines. Horrid, but filled with very good moments. It all started off with my TGV from Bruxelles Midi to Paris Charles de Gaulle leaving over an hour late, due to an inability to find the Conductor or controllers. Turns out they were on another train that was severely late and had not yet arrived. Then when our train finally got going, we were not going the speed of a high speed train, which should take 1h20 to get to Paris, but rather the speed of a normal train with a few extended stops along the way. "Due a des conditions climatiques sévères." These 'severe' weather conditions that made my train ride last over 4 hours where one in the same that proceeded to basically shut down all of Paris and Charles de Gaulle resulting in the cancellation and severe delay of almost every flight: 15-20cms of snow that were accompanied by a light wind in the morning. Are you freaking kidding me?!

The "extreme" weather as viewed from my very slow train

So once I finally got to Charles de Gaulle, I proceeded to wait in what was surely the longest line of my entire life to try to drop off my bags. As it turns out, because so many flights were cancelled and delayed,  there were 7 times the people there all waiting in line to find out information about their flights and connections. Some people who had been there all morning and all day already, so were starting to get very testy. There were also a ton of Italians; who together and angry about their flights did not improve the situation. I did meet the one other native english speaker in line though, Anny. An American from Oregon who is currently teaching English in Reims, France and was on her way to visit her uncle in Madrid for Christmas. She was very cool and such a positive attitude considering the amount of time we had already been waiting in line, and the fact that she was most likely going to be spending the next day or two in the airport. She is going to stay on my couch when she takes her newly planned visit to Brussels.

When I FINALLY got to the counter, get this, 5 hours later in a 50ft line, there was this angry Italian screaming incessantly at the woman who was trying to help me. It took her probably 15 minutes just to be able to tell me that my flight was severely delayed and did not leave 4 hours ago like it should have, because he kept screaming at her in Italian to fix his situation. I mean honestly, she didn't even speak Italian, he was just an ass. But so it turns out, she checked my bag telling me that because my flight was currently boarding, there was absolutely no guarantees that it would make it to Winnipeg, let alone Montréal. So I ran to the gate, which had to be across the airport, got through customs and security, only to find that boarding had been delayed another hour and a half, pushing the final delay up to 6 hours. The good thing being though, that I caught my flight.

The AirFrance flight to Montréal however, despite it's severe delays and lack of TVs, was very lovely. One of the best flights I have taken. The chairs were comfortable and actually properly reclined, allowing me to actually fall asleep for a few hours. They provided actual pillows and blankets, not pieces of foam paper masquerading as such. They provided a little gift pack which included headphones, a moist towelette, ear plugs and an eye cover for sleeping, and a menu. The menu of course being for the food. Let me tell you, this meal, on the list of most memorable meals since being in Europe; and I got it at 40 000ft in the air! The Entrée was Mixed vegetable julienne with smoked salmon. Main course of Chicken pennette pasta with a tomato basil and oregano cream sauce. With a fresh roll, Camembert cheese, a Mandarine orange, and a Tartelette Normande for dessert. It also came with bottled water from the Alps and a very nice 2009 Chardonnay. The only difference between this meal and a meal at a 5 star restaurant, being this one was served all together on a handy non-slip tray, with everything being its respective temperature. The orange chilled, the Julienne fresh, the pasta hot and chicken tender, roll warm, and Tartelette just delicious.

When I finally arrived at Montréal airport it was just after midnight local time, and my connecting flight to Winnipeg had obviously left just about 5 hours earlier. And since everything shuts down between midnight at 6am, I was left to bunker down in a waiting room until morning when I could talk to Westjet and get another flight. My new flight leaving at 2:15 in the afternoon. A good thing being though, My luggage miraculously arrived. And despite my very short sleep of the night taking place half in the airplane, and half on a padded bench in a semi-quiet waiting room upstairs, there have been nice things about being here. For starters, Service people are friendly again. I asked a random security guard on my way in where to go to talk to someone and he not only chatted with me for a few minutes but walked me to the escalator. They are extremely helpful. When I did find the information desk the woman was busy, but a kind older gentleman who worked somewhere else in the airport helped me out, told me I was to wait, and even pointed me to the quiet(ish) waiting room. The bathrooms are not only everywhere and free, but large and very clean. There are probably 10 different cafés in the airport alone. Free internet. And finally, one of the most appreciated after living in Europe, there is lots of space and things are logically and well designated in two languages that I understand. All this and I still have at least 16-17 hours before being back in Redvers.

Je voudrais être innombrable et divers

Look out the window, tell me what you see..

raindrops falling from a grey sky, hitting the people below
blue lights flashing and sirens wailing
the glow of an endless parade of cars, all impatiently fighting to get down the same road
withered fallen leaves clumped up on the pavement
medieval, neo-classical, post-modern and modern architecture, each fighting for the limelight, hoping to get noticed
and a flower.

Violet and white, a long green stem, thick, withered and wilted at the bottom, yet frail and lively at the top.
A single natural ray of colour and brightness on an otherwise morose landscape.
It does not have to compete to be seen, yet it balances perfectly with it's environment. It is bright and bold, yet does not contrast or look out of place. And most of all, it brings an effortless joy to those who take the time to notice it.

What it would be, to be that flower...

Come to think of it, I do really like that flower. Next tattoo perhaps? Then again, I do already have a few tattoos with flowers. Hm..

Well, life continues as usual. I leave Brussels for Redvers (well, technically Winnipeg) in 3 days. I don't want to leave, yet can't wait to go at the same time. Just as I feel the need to write, think and analyse, but I very much don't when it comes to my essays. Or how I want to be alone in solitude, and with people in laughter, all at once. To see a movie, but read a book. To wander aimlessly, yet sit comfortably at home. To travel the world, but live in familiarity. To speak several languages, but never leave the comforts of one. To have many different friends, but only have a few excellent ones. To fall in love, but to live independently. To see beauty and happiness in life, but to think rationally and calculated at the same time. To follow your heart and instincts, but to make rational, well thought out decisions. To be carefree, but not negate your responsibilities.

This all reminds me of that poem I mentioned ages ago that I found in Amsterdam, but could never find again. Well here is it finally. Although I still can't remember the authors name..

I guess really it all comes down to the infamous question, what is the meaning of life? Seeing as there clearly is not one answer to that question (or we have just not yet found it), what to you makes a life fulfilling and worth living?

Life, or something like it

I cannot believe that it's already been 4 years ago today. 4 years. I still remember the day and the weekend before it like it was yesterday. How things have changed in 4 years... To think how different things might have been...How different things were...

In 4 years I've probably made hundreds of new friends, and kept the few that are worthwhile. I've learned so many new things and talked to so many new people. I have met people from all over the world. I have had so many new experiences. I have went to live in Belgium. I've gotten a Bachelors Degree and started a Masters. I've been in and out of a few relationships. I could keep going forever, but bottom line is that almost everything imaginable in my life has changed. To think what a difference 4 years in time can make. What a difference one bad night can make for that matter... Proof of all this is that most of you in my life today won't even know what I'm taking about. 4 years ago today, on Dec 11th, 2006 Josh committed suicide.

Some people wonder why I'm so camera-happy at times, wanting to snap pictures of people and moments. I've been told almost everything. "I don't need pictures of myself" "I'll remember this just fine without pictures" Well it's not for you that I take pictures.

These of Josh were all taken Late Summer and Fall of 2006. I'm pretty sure I had to force him into most of these pictures, but I'm glad I did. Sadly I don't even think I have one remotely "recent" picture of Dad and I.

Some people also wonder why I'm so blunt at times, why I'll leave some parties early and never show up for others, why I'll spend inordinate amounts of time with some people and not even say hi to others, why I want to take up every whim and instinct I have, why I want to follow up on plans and dreams and turn them in to a reality, and why I try to make the best of every situation. Well it's very simple... life is too short to spend it faking happiness, or in company you don't enjoy. It's too short not to enjoy living in the moment and making moments count. It's too short to leave something important unsaid, or to not have followed your instincts when you should have. It's far too short to be dramatic about the little things, and people who know me will tell you that I have very little patience for that. Because once something major happens, such as one of your favorite people in the world passing away in a car accident when you're 14, or a good friend committing suicide at age 18, it puts everything else in to perspective. How can it not. You realize that life is a collection of moments and thoughts, and it's the good and important ones that you remember. So try to make as many good memories as you can, with the people that you love. Life is far too short to spend it in the company of ass-holes, wishing you were somewhere else.

Take the time to be alone. Take the time to be with family. Take the time to be with great friends. Take the time to make new friends that might become great ones. Take the time to fall in love. Take the time to follow up on plans and make them a reality. Take the time to tell someone the truth. Take the time to tell someone what they mean to you. Take the time to really live life, because not everyone will get all the time they want to do so.

Belgian Christmas

I thought North Americans went all out for Christmas? Wow, I was wrong. I don't know how the rest of Europe is, but Belgians definitely do Christmas right. All around the same time, Christmas exploded all over the city. The Plaisirs d'Hiver Christmas market and all of it's amazing-ness opened, vin chaud started being served all over the city including sandwich carts, I think every light post or tree even in the dingier neighbourhoods (like ours...) is decked with lights, and the grocery stores are jam packed with people while the cashiers give out speculoos cookies with every purchase. As Tom pointed out, Christmas is also much less commercial here than it is in North America. Granted we do not have a TV, but the only ads we have seen are advertising espresso and coffee makers and cars. You don't see ads, promotions, and movies everywhere telling you to drink eggnog (with rum), make (or buy) shortbread cookies, gingerbread houses, and all kinds of Christmas baking, to (first buy then) put up lights on your house, and (again buy then decorated) to have the fanciest most elegant Christmas tree on the block. You have wonderful non-pressuring Christmas spirit with Christmas trees in every square, lights and decorations in the streets, and vin chaud by the bucket. All that's missing for the Christmas feeling to be complete is for the snow to come back (and me to finish my essays...or start them).

Aah winter..

Winter has officially hit Brussels. I just took this picture at 9:30pm outside my living room window. There is a few centimeters of snow on the ground, snowflakes falling from the sky, temperatures of -12, and Belgians and Europeans everywhere slipping, sliding and afraid do drive.. A friend said that over the weekend when they were on the highway coming back to Brussels from France traffic was moving at 30kms/h. Even walking around the pace has slowed to a crawl. We've discussed it at length, and we believe it's because, as Canadians, winter turns the country in to one giant icy freezer for 6 months of the year. So naturally, half your time is spent walking and driving on snow. You get used to it pretty quickly, and learn how to function in such conditions. Whereas in other countries where they have 'normal' winters of 3-4 months and only a bit of snow, they do not adjust the same way we do. So when you get a centimeter or 2 of snow, there are warnings issued on the radio to be careful while driving, and transit is even disrupted.

With winter and the holiday season in Brussels comes the Plaisirs d'Hiver festival, or Winter Wonders. "Every winter, the heart of Brussels beats to the rhythm of Winter Wonders – featuring a magical decor, a magnificent Christmas Market, illuminated Big Wheel, roundabouts, street activities and of course the famous skating rink. " Or so their website says. I have yet to go, but I have heard from everyone that it is absolutely amazing. I've also heard its reputed to be one of the most unique in all of Europe. Plus they have Vin Chaud by the barrel. A few friends and I that haven't gone plan on checking it out this weekend, that is if I don't go with Tom, Stephen, and Lidia to stay on an 18th century Russian war ship docked near Amsterdam for only 40 euro round trip. I might be able to do both...but then I wouldn't be able to work on my final projects and essays that are due very soon. Decisions, decisions. Either way I cannot drink this weekend as I am drugged up on 3 different medications after getting my wisdom tooth pulled today; antibiotic, anti-inflammatory, and Belgian pain killers, which make you very relaxed and wonderful feeling. But definitely not as high as the French cold meds.

Things are definitely looking up. I feel like I can get back to normal life now. I got confirmation today that our lease ends March 31st of 2010, so we can move out then with no fees. I am officially registered with the commune and legal in the country, I just have to wait another 2-3 weeks for the card. I received confirmation from the University of Kent head office in Canterbury that my (second set of ) student loan forms have been signed and are being shipped to Canada tomorrow. Other things and issues with people have been sorted out or are in progress as well. So all I have to do is finish these papers and projects, and I can put this term behind me. :) Next term looks very promising. Not only does it look like all my classes will be on Tuesday, giving me the entire rest of to manage things and travel, but I will actually have the month break after classes  that is allotted for essays, to do essays. So I don't have to worry about finishing them during the term.

So between stresses being alleviated, this term coming to a close, proper winter outside, Christmas in 3 weeks, the wonderful pain killers, and the very cozy heater I'm leaning up against, life seems good again :) I'm also in the draft planning stages of a vacation in Spain after I hand in my dissertation as a reward. The ideal situation would be to get a part-time internship in January, and since they typically last 3-6 months, I would be finished in July. And other full time internships typically start in September, and my dissertation is due beginning of August, giving me August free to relax. I want to spend a few weeks in either Barcelona or Granada taking spanish classes, traveling the area, laying on the beach, and just generally living life in Spain. The only hindrance is money. But I figure that seeing as I'm already going to be in debt from this Masters program and doing unpaid internships after it, what's another 500 euro to give myself a break?